Faith Like That

I'm having a hard time trying to decide whether or not to write this.  

You see, I'm not cool. I am praying over the words I use here because I don't want the thought to cross your mind, "Hey, that girl has a clue" or "Is remotely cool" because you'd be wrong. I'm not mine to be cool. My life I pray is God's, but guys this year has been ridiculously awesome and if I don't pause and look back at GOD's hand at work...am I diminishing HIS Glory? 

In September last year I began praying that the LORD would use me. Despite my limitations of: being a Stay-at-Home mommy, being out in the middle of nowhere- far from many people.  I am not a cool mommy who can juggle 2 kids at the store and come out without going way over budget.  I'm also very focused on the craziness happening in my buggy. :) So it was not an option (in my mind) to be a vessel of GOD in the grocery store.

My husband is in full-time student ministry and despite how much I LOVE those kids, I was being pulled away alot with Jaxson and Paitlyn. With them being sick or my being just too exhausted by the end of the day and a long drive to church on top of it. 
Being brand new to this area and community where I know no one. No friends, left all of our family. No roots. Starting over from scratch. My husband is also in Seminary so it's generally just me and the kids.  

What can I do?  I was burdened so HEAVILY with a heart to minister, a heart to serve, but my limitations were too many and overwhelming. 

But GOD!!!!!  Hahaha! But GOD! If He's given the burden HE will prepare the way!  

The message HE laid on my heart was like a burning fire! If I didn't let it out I felt like it would consume me.  But I was limited (that's what I saw-my limitations) 

GOD's not Limited!

In my quiet time I began writing. I hated writing in school. My insecurity was overwhelming when I wrote. 

When I had to write papers in college I would cringe to have to turn it in, because I thought my paper would be the one the teachers passed around to laugh at and say, "who taught this kid how to write, and she's in College?"  When I write it's like taking a piece of myself and handing it over to whatever critics find it. 

So when I started writing I never thought much of it. You may have seen how that worked out a few weeks ago in a post. 

But in a years time the Lord has moved us. We went from being 20mins from town to living Downtown. We went from being twenty minutes from church to five minutes.   From a teeny tiny house unable to house foster children to a 4 bedroom house able to house foster children.  
Because of the loneliness I faced at the beginning of this ministry, the Lord has placed lonely people in my path. He has brought ministry opportunities to our doorsteps.
Making it to church on a Wednesday night is no longer an all day event depending on who's had a nap and if we have the gas money.

He has placed people in my path specifically because they've needed to be ministered to.  It's SO Awesome because (I can't tell you how often HE's done this) I've been praying to be used, he places someone in my path and their exact words, "I've been praying for the Lord to bring someone in my life like you...." for whatever the reason it's different every time. It's just cool to see GOD working on both ends.

My overwhelming insecurity when I write has been surrendered to the LORD. Every post I write is prayed heavily over because it intimidates the fire out of me, but I put my hope in HIM. I've surrendered it to HIM not to be taken back at my convenience or from my fear. But that's why I have to write about HIM because In HIM is where I have my trust!

It absolutely "Rocks my Socks Off" to think that the LORD is taking this thing that I am most insecure about and using it for HIS Glory. I mean if GOD was looking to use someone wouldn't He want to use someone who is naturally gifted in that area?   NOPE! Not biblically, he takes the things we are most inferior in and says "Do you trust ME?"  I cannot tell you how scared I am everytime I write - Petrified, but if I don't let the message out I feel like it will consume me. IT's GOD! It's GOD! Holy LORD! You heard my prayer, and You want to use me? It's GOD!

Our God is WAY cool, and I am so messed up in admiration and love of our Heavenly Father.

This is a song that "Messed me UP" a year ago and it has played in my head repeatedly.  I come back to it often.
I pray this will be my life song, and I encourage it to be yours!

Jonah 33 - Faith Like That

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Are you watching the Lord answer prayers right before your eyes?

Are you having a "Faith like that"?  I want a faith like that!  

Lord, give us a Faith like that! Give us the burden to have a faith like that! May we not focus on our inability but on YOUR ability, to do whatever it is YOU desire!  I pray to be a willing, surrendered and mold-able vessel in Your hands! Thank you Father for moving the mountains! 

HIS Clay~

Foster Care

My heart is so shaky. When Trey and I were first married, I remember having this feeling.  It happened when God radically said Now!  We knew we were called into the ministry, but we were in school and ministering here and there and then He said Now! I remember because we were in church that Sunday morning and I was broken. I went forward because hearing the "Now"! Scared me to death. I knew we were in need of prayer. I wanted to fall on my face and just cry.  Not that I didn't already know it was coming but it was a surrendering of the reigns.  I was not, Trey was not, in control of what was going to happen next. God says I'm in control of this. I've called you, now I'm going to lead you. Not scary in the normal sense of the word.

Kinda like Moses at the burning bush. A crazy Holy encounter with The Living God! All I wanted to do was fall down, weap and worship.

I can look back on my life and see how God has shaped my heart in this direction. Trey can too. Little things here and there that have caused us to desire to do this, shaped us so that we know what to expect -kinda. 

This is not a job choice for us but a devine appointment. We started this process back in December. Ha! We have talked and prayed about it since we were dating, but in December God gave us a little -now. And so we went through the classes and then we were faced with a Ridiculous amount of stalling. Pretty funny how God works, but having been here before we just took care of what we could take care of and have waited for the Lord to open the next door.  I knew that God was going to lead, stall and direct until the child we are supposed to have in our home is needing us.

I remember being pregnant for the first time with Jaxson. When I saw the ultrasound and saw a glimpse of his face, this child I've prayed about my entire life, the child I daydreamed about and knew that God had designed me to be his mother. I was so broken, proud, blessed beyond measure, to see this child's face (even though it was just his profile) for the first time.  That's how I feel about this child(ren) that will come into our home. God has designed us to be their place of refuge, "Parents", if only for a little while. I do not take it lightly at all.

This past week the Lord started reminding me about fostering.  I told them I would call as soon as we were settled and moved in, but like me I forgot. The agency called the very next day and wanted to do a visit.  They wanted to introduce us to our new case worker.

She came by and we took care of a few more items. Paperwork etc. We still have a few more details to take care of, mostly involving money to purchase different things. But this week, I cannot go into detail about what happened, God said clearly it's time to move forward. No more stalling.   I know He's going to clear the debris from our path.

I just think it's so funny how God does that. When He's called you and He puts barriers up, and removes them and along the way He keeps the passion lit. He does ALL of it to keep you moving at His pace, and not on your own.  Right now it looks like we may begin in mid-September.

Please keep us in your prayers as the Lord leads us into this next phase of ministry.

Isaiah 41:9-13(NIV)

 I took you from the ends of the earth,
   from its farthest corners I called you.
I said, ‘You are my servant’;
   I have chosen you and have not rejected you.
So do not fear, for I am with you;
   do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
   I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

 “All who rage against you
   will surely be ashamed and disgraced;
those who oppose you
   will be as nothing and perish.
Though you search for your enemies,
   you will not find them.
Those who wage war against you
   will be as nothing at all.
For I am the LORD your God
   who takes hold of your right hand
and says to you, Do not fear;
   I will help you.