Mommy-ing like Jesus

Casting Crowns - Does Anybody Hear Her

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Have you ever felt completely incompetent in mommy-dom.

It seems, since we began fostering, it hits me about Friday every week.  I have to go back to the start and I have to say,

"Lord, I'm in this because this is where You have brought me. This is a call you have placed on our hearts. You have lead us here, and even though I feel completely inadequate and ill equipped, You know this situation and YOU know the words that need to be spoken to this young girls heart. Lord I need You to speak through me now, because if I do, there are about to be Fireworks."

My Foster Daughter is on restriction and it is well earned restrictions. Guidelines that we have calmly, clearly and rationally laid out; she clearly understands and the very next day (or with in the next hour) it happens again.

I don't mean slip up rules. I mean, I asked you to get off the phone, it's after your bedtime and I find her 30mins later sneaking and whispering on the phone.

I have been away all weekend on a ladies retreat.  I haven't seen my 2 children in two days.  When I got home my husband hurriedly handed over the children because he had to leave for a meeting and immediately it starts.

Many little independent things she's saying: whining, complaining, mentioning different things in a negative tone, slightly talking down to me...She's trying to get a rise out of me.  She keeps it up. Despite the fact I have not seen, hugged, or even talked to my own children much in 2 days. (I love her to death, but I really want you to see how ugly my own flesh felt, so please don't judge too harshly, too quick.)

It would be easy for me to "Flesh Back" and tell her what's, what because without a doubt she was off base, somethings were downright mean, bitter and manipulating.

However, she is not my child She's GOD's - He's called her to my house and I am to treat her as HE would.

So instead I keep listening to her, holding my children, watching her, smiling, nodding and PRAYING!  Praying that the Lord would give me a glimmer of what's Really  going on here.  Praying that He gives me HIS eyes to see her, HIS Compassion to hear her and HIS love to handle her.

Did you know that our God answers prayer.

Oh He does and be ready for a broken heart when dealing with children.

To sum it up without getting deep into detail:

• Have you ever felt worthless, like you didn't matter? 
• Has anyone ever treated you like a treasure that needs to be kept safe?
• Have you ever had boundaries set out before you that came out of love and wanting to protect you, rather than just trying to keep you from getting on someone's nerves? 
• Have you ever had someone that actually wanted to spend time with you?
• Have you ever had someone that truly enjoys your company?

I could go on and on.

My point is: So often we see symptoms, such as the rotten attitude, negativity, etc. and when it is treated out of our flesh the problem is NEVER solved only worsened.

The Lord has given us our children as a treasure. Meant to be kept, loved, Treasured, ADORED and lead in HIS ways.  If we can't do the simplest thing in controlling our tongue and leaning on HIM for wisdom to see the root and not the symptoms our teens/our children will NOT see the Love of Christ in us. 


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If we look at children that are not our own, see their symptoms and don't pray to see the root of the problem - They will never see Christ in us!

• Do your children feel like they're worthless, like they don't matter? 
• You see it doesn't matter what they're saying, or how off base they are. Treat them like their thoughts matter, their feelings matter. We need to wait, smiling, PRAYING patiently for the Lord's response. He's the One who you want to hold your child's heart. His response will reach them when my response may cut them to the core and leave scars. 
• Have your children ever been told (by you) that they are a treasure that needs to be kept safe?
• If you don't tell them, and treat them that way, they will be placed on an empty Painful hunt to look for their worth that should be taught by their parents.
• They are a priceless, irreplaceable treasure. They need to be treated that way.
• Do your children have boundaries set out before them that come out of love and wanting to protect them? Rather than just trying to keep them from getting on your (or someone else's) nerves? 
• Have you ever been self conscience of their behavior or them in public or in front of friends? There's a BIG difference in holding your ground out of being a parent and trying to hold a ground because you fear how you may be perceived as a parent.
• Do your children know that you actually want to spend time with them?
• Do you date your children? Even if it's sitting down rocking them and watching an extremely long cartoon that they want to watch.
• Or taking them to lunch one on one?
• Do your children know that you enjoy their company?
• Do you sit down and patiently have a conversation with them like they matter, their thoughts have worth? When they talk about pointless stuff do you treat them like it's pointless or do you refocus them or show them "Gently" the big picture?

Kids know when you're smiling and nodding and it says to them that
they're stupid and they don't matter.

• Teenagers have a flood of hormones, new thoughts they've never had before, EVERYTHING is brand new.  They don't know how to organize their own thoughts.
• They are becoming an individual, no longer a kid. That's hard! Trying to figure out "Who" they are, how they're viewed...Hard, hard, hard.  You as the parent have a beautiful opportunity to teach them how to sort it out. How to see the big picture.

Children need to be treated as a precious, priceless treasure, so they're not forced to search for someone/something else to fill that void.

Proverbs 16:22-24
Understanding is a fountain of life to one who has it,
But the discipline of fools is folly.

The heart of the wise instructs his mouth
And adds persuasiveness to his lips.

Pleasant words are a honeycomb,
Sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.

HIS Clay~

Linked With:

Do Unto Others

You may know this passage by heart but today I encourage you to remove all your desensitized knowledge of it and read it Fresh :)

Luke 6:27-36 (NIV)

Love for Enemies

    “But to you who are listening I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.
If someone slaps you on one cheek, turn to them the other also. If someone takes your coat,
do not withhold your shirt from them.
Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back.
Do to others as you would have them do to you.

  “If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners love those who love them. And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners do that.
And if you lend to those from whom you expect repayment, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, expecting to be repaid in full.

But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them
without expecting to get anything back.
Then your reward will be great, and you will be children of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.

What a Powerful, punch in the gut, passage! Wow! The world says don't be a pushover, what does Christ say?  However there's a big difference between what Christ is saying here and being easily manipulated.

What Christ is saying here comes out of a heart of service and love. Only what Christ can do in you. Nothing of your own strength.

Take the simple verse: "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."

Here's a way to apply it.

If you need to be blessed, be a blessing.

What are you praying for today? What area of your life are you needing to be blessed? New friendship? Free babysitter? Biblical encouragement? $20? Are you blessing others in this same way?

Not looking for anything in return, but it's the LOVE of Christ pouring out of you.

Look for areas you need to be blessed and begin pouring that blessing into others. Watch how you become more blessed than you could have imagined.

If you need a friend-be a friend

Go out of your way to make a new friend,

not trying to fit into the mob of close friends

at your new place but the ones that don't have a friend.

Or are having a hard time being accepted. You don't have to have common interests to be a friend. Christ was a friend to the tax-collectors, prostitutes and sinners. Ya think He had much in "common" with them?

If you need a Free-Babysitter - Be a Free Babysitter

It doesn't matter if they don't offer it in return. You're not doing it "For Them" in the first place.

If you need biblical encouragement - Encourage others

That comes back immediately. I'm encouraged every time I see someone encouraged.

If you need $20 - Give it away Freely

My Jesus walks on streets of gold. If you give freely $20 (to someone in need) that you didn't have to give; His eye is on the sparrow, Really?!?!  He'll totally multiply your loaves and fishes.

(Matthew 14:13-21)

If you want to be forgiven- FORGIVE others

Who cares their grievance. Place it under the blood. I am so glad that Christ removed my offenses as far as the East is from the West. We should do the same! For our Neighbor, Co-Worker, Friend or even Family.  Holding a grudge gives them control over you. (Idolatry-yup)  I am not theirs to control. I am no longer my own master. I am a bond-servant of Christ, may no one else have hold of me. Forgive others their offenses, just as Christ has forgiven you!

If you don't want people to meet you, judge you and assume you have ill intentions - Give others the benefit of the doubt.
Don't judge be a friend.

It's OUR call on OUR lives to do unto others. We need to quit worrying about others and whether or not they're applying the verse. That verse applies to me period!

Dear Melissa -
"Do to others as you would have them do to you."
Love,
Christ

Be blessed today, my friend. If you want to be salt and light and stand apart form the world. Pursue Christ and He'll create that burden in you.  :)

Don't Forget
Enter the Beautiful GiveAway!

His Clay~

Linked With:

Holy

(As I was praying through this post and writing it out I had to step away for a bit to clear my head, and seek the Lord's direction on it.  As I removed myself from this post I opened up Youtube and stumbled upon this song.  It is says Exactly where my heart is in this post. I encourage you to listen as you read!)

I wouldn't say that I'm a bad person. I know I'm a sinner, but I'm not that bad...right? I mean if I'm bad it's not on purpose. This past week I pleaded for the Lord to reveal any area of my heart that is in sin. I don't want even part of me to do anything other than glorify Him!

Oh my mercy did He ever answer my prayer.  The only thing I can compare it to would be Isaiah 6, It's funny that my heart has been in this chapter for a while.

Isaiah 6:1-7

¹In the year that King Uzziah died I saw the Lord sitting upon a throne, high and lifted up; and the train of His robe filled the temple. ²Above Him stood the seraphim. Each had six wings: with two he covered his face, and with two he covered his feet, and with two he flew. ³And one called to another and said:

    "Holy, holy, holy is the LORD of hosts; the whole earth is full of His glory!"

 ⁴And the foundations of the thresholds shook at the voice of Him who called, and the house was filled with smoke.

⁵And I said:

"Woe is me! For I am lost; for I am a man of unclean lips, and I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips; for my eyes have seen the King, the LORD of hosts!"

Isaiah didn't necessarily see himself as a bad person, he had just finished several chapters on woe-ing others, but when He was faced with the Glory of GOD there was nothing good within him. All those years of thinking God had to be satisfied with him because at least he wasn't like the others...

This entire week the Lord has brought unknown sins to the surface. It is literally like little snakes (I despise that word, so I apologize for even using it, but I am a visual person and this is how I see it played out within my heart.) I see them crawling up to the surface and if I don't immediately pray, acknowledge them and ask forgiveness it feels like they will consume me.

Sins like: Pride, Jealousy, Envy, Negativity, Bitterness, Regret and Impatience. I had no idea how much I struggled with these sins, until I prayed for the Lord to shine light on them and to remove them, but I had no idea how often they consumed me. 

Negative Thoughts, Bitterness, Jealousy, Judgemental, Regret, Bitterness, Bitterness, Bitterness...Sin, Sin, Sin!!!  I had no idea how un-Holy, these are!  They are an Affront to God and they consume me DAILY and I had no idea that they were there!

Galatians 5:16-21 (ESV)

19-21 Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy,drunkenness, orgies, and things like these.

Oh my goodness I've always known that I was a sinner but until this week I was never truly disgusted (don't take that word lightly, I was Broken and Disgusted over them!) how blatantly much I am a sinner!  I am Guilty! 

It was almost constantly, that the Lord was showing sin creeping up. Oh my Holy!

I couldn't help but think:

"Why on earth do you waste Your time on me, Lord?  If this is where I am and Holiness is where you want me to be. Holy mercy, how have YOU not given up on me? How can YOU possibly use me? Why do YOU still bother with me?

But then there's verses 6&7

PRAISE the LORD for verses 6&7!

Isaiah 6:6-7

 ⁶Then one of the seraphim flew to me, having in his hand a burning coal that he had taken with tongs from the altar. ⁷And he touched my mouth and said: "Behold, this has touched your lips; your guilt is taken away, and your sin atoned for."

Psalms 145:8-9 (NIV)

The LORD is gracious and compassionate,
   slow to anger and rich in love.

 ⁹ The LORD is good to all;
   He has compassion on all He has made.

Without YOU I don't like me! Without YOUR transforming power in my life, my life has no meaning. May you take all of me and use it for YOUR Glory alone!  Take this life and make it YOURS. Make this life moldable, usable, may YOU look upon this life and find it as a pleasing sacrifice!

May YOU take this wretched life and make it HOLY!

I have swept away your offenses like a cloud,
your sins like the morning mist.
Return to me,

for

 I have redeemed you.” -Isaiah 44:22