This time last year my husband and I were coming out of another huge trial in our lives which, as always, God provided and brought us through by His grace. But that's what I was learning about God at the time, I was learning that He cares and provides for His children. However, my relationship with Him was not where it should be.
It's still not where I want it to be, but good gravy it's very different. Today, I am enjoying Him. I Truly Enjoy growing in and learning about my Savior. I am so overwhelmed that I get to have a personal relationship with Him, and His goodness is new every morning. I know these are truths I've always heard and learned by hearing but Now these are truths I am Knowing, and they are re-affirmed by scripture. My relationship with God is Very different from what is was a year ago.
I get so ridiculously excited by Him because I am blessed to see His hand at work around me and how He provides and protects us. I am seeing what I would use to see as set backs as ways He is providentially protecting us. Ways of Him closing the door, and by that I am truly blessed and given a Peace.
Last year when we were in the midst of that difficult situation my Precious Grandmother sent me a book and said, "You must read this." It had blessed her in the midst of her recent trail and so she wanted to share. So she researched and bought me a brand new copy and sent it to me. I thought it was So sweet of her. I cannot tell you how grateful I am for the Godly Matriarchs in my family. I am so blessed by the Godly lives they've lead, and the influence they've had on me.
I got the book in the mail on my way to work one day. I looked at it and laid it in the side pocket of my van. Days went by and I was annoyed at the book. I never read it, I was just annoyed at it. I guess because I felt ashamed that it had sat there so long and I hadn't picked it up. I hate reading. I am So A.D.D I cannot sit still long enough to finish a paragraph much less, a chapter or a book.
So there it sat. Never moved, I didn't want to move it because Even though I was annoyed at the book I cherished it because my Grandmother gave it to me, and since we are ever in the moving process I didnt want to get it out of the door because I was scared I might lose it.
As I said before God has radically changed my heart and life over the past year. Don't get me wrong, there is So much of me that I want Him to change more into His likeness, but one onion peel at a time God is changing me.
I was sitting in the parking lot at McDonalds Monday morning waiting on little Miss Rees, and I picked it up for the first time and began to read. Didn't get to read much of it before she arrived and then today I picked it up again as I waited on her and seriously, Wow.
It was written by a Missionary to India, Mary Geegh, and in this I see God's providential hand at work. At this point in my walk with Him I am needing the influence of this Godly lady and the life she lead. It wouldn't have meant much to me a year ago but right now as I read the book this morning it felt refreshing like a Hot Bath. That may sound really wierd but it does.
As I read it Bells are going off because I Know exactly what she's talking about, I've just never put it into words. I'm guessing this book is written about her journey in learning how to follow the Holy Spirits Leading.
This is whats so wierd. The first story that I picked up and read this morning was where the Holy Spirit told her to do something Random, and completely out of her comfort zone. (Haha, totally familiar, keep speaking Lord) It was so random. She prayed that the Lord would help her to be compassionate on a lady, who she was finding rather frustrating. The lady was Always tired and sick, which kept her from getting all of her work done. So as she was Being Still and Waiting on the Lord to answer her prayer, he said, "Take her an egg."
Mary thought Oh Way too random. Nope, I'm good. So later that evening as she got home from work There was a chicken in her house. She was in India so it wasn't like here, Perryville, Ky. If it were here God would say take her some milk, my fridge would be empty and I'd come to find a Cow on my front porch.
And lo and Behold that crazy chicken laid An egg in her chair. So she said, ok Lord.
She walked to the lady's house and saw one of the ladies TEN children playing in the yard and gave the egg to the child and hurried off, not to feel foolish by her giving the random egg. The lady asked her the next day about the egg and told her how very grateful she was. They had no money and no food left everything the lady had she had given to the children so she hadn't eaten all day and that egg was SO Delicious and Satisfying.
I bet it was! I bet it was like Manna! I sit here and wonder, How many times I have missed seeing miracles in my life due to my lack of trust in the Lord?
What really pierced my heart is when I got home and got the children situated I pulled the book back out and began to read from the beginning. Where the Lord was in the initial phases of teaching her how to hear His still small voice. The very first time she was quiet to listen He told her to say something to the lady she was counseling, and she knew it may be offensive, but she said it. The woman stormed off, upset with her. However, Mary continued to pray and didnt move. After some time passed the woman returned broken.
You see the Lord Knows our hearts. You think about the many times Christ spoke during His time on earth and they are His words, our Creators words. Here's my thing. Sunday morning during church God spoke to my heart, and told me to speak some words to a friend. They are not my words. They could be seen as offensive. I adore this person, think SO highly of them and would NEVER intentionally offend someone. I've never really had that Happen before, and I didn't understand it. So I never said it. I will be praying about this today and I will contact them prayerfully this afternoon.
His Clay,
Melissa
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