I'm another one of those folks who doesn't have a dramatic testimony. There really is no "road to Damascus" moment for me. God has been part of my life for almost as long as I can remember and I can't imagine what life would be like without Him. When I was a child, I heard His name often and probably rather took him for granted. Later on, I either clung to Him or tried to flee from Him. But life has always been about Him in some way.
That's one of the pieces of my story for which I am most thankful. God is there, always there. His faithfulness to me far exceeds my flawed faithfulness to Him and no matter how many times I sin, I've never been forsaken.
Even though my testimony is more one of a maturing and deepening walk with Christ rather than a dramatic moment of conversion, I do have moments that come to mind where communion with God seems to run so deep in a more dramatic way. And some of those have come at very difficult times in my life. I still remember one of them from about 10 years ago, right after I got married.
My husband had to travel for work and this trip was going to be a little longer than the usual 1-2 day hops he had had in the past. We had just moved from a temporary 1 month(pre-furnished!) sublet into our first "permanent" home, so I figured that I would have plenty to keep me busy while he was gone and I didn't think anything of it. Obviously, I underestimated my situation. I had never set up house by myself before and here I was in a town where I knew no one, trying to get everything settled in.
I had just finished school and started working full-time, so I had my new job to learn and contend with. Then the phone company announced that it was going to be a month before they could run our line. My husband had a cellphone via work, but I didn't have one yet, so I felt literally cut off from the world. I limped along bravely for a bit, but then I just couldn't take it anymore.
I finally hit a day where the company building a development next to the apartment complex hit a water line so the county turned off the water. Then the thunderstorms rolled in, exposing the leaky roof in our dreary little apartment, and knocking out the electrical power. The loneliness and helplessness just overwhelmed me. I could say that I was a saint and that I serenely sat there singing hymns and reading by candlelight. That would be lying, though. My reaction was more one of crying out in despair and wondering why God would do this to me. Why let me get married and leave my hometown and end up sitting all by myself in the middle of a storm in a leaking apartment between a military base and the interstate?
And in the midst of my mind crying out, "Why?" and my feeling sorry for myself, I could feel comfort stealing into my heart. I was in some ways being rebellious and selfish, but I was also crying out for God - and He answered me. I was still in the middle of the storm, but I had one of those moments where I felt so close to God and so sure of His presence that I could feel myself growing calm. And that's when I realized. God had been there all along; I was the one trying to turn away. And even though that couple of weeks was very challenging, my faith grew and I feel thankful to God when I think about that time because it's one of those moments that reminds me that God is with me even when my walk turns fumbling, awkward and just a bit messy. He doesn't just leave us wallowing in the mud - or the leaky apartments - He picks us back up again and uses these times to teach us.
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More About Amy:
Amy Lee Ellis has been happily married for 10 years to a wonderful man. She has worked in many capacities, and has recently embraced God's calling to a great adventure - full-time ministry in the home. She considers it a challenging adventure, and blogs about it at Making a Joyful Home (http://makingajoyfulhome.
Thanks for sharing! Your honest story is such a great reminder of God's faithfulness to walk us through those trials.
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