At War With Myself

Warning The Following Information May be filled with Run-On Sentences and a Bizarre amount of Grammatical Mistakes. Read at your own Risk: :)

(Also this is in no way a reflection of anyone but myself. I am Not preaching at anyone but this is what I've seen in my life and if this is you, too. I pray that this will open your eyes as much as it has mine.)

This is a response to my "Head Knowledge" vs. my "Life Outpour" following the Post "Lord of the Pawn".  

I came to the dramatic reality of how Poisonious Cultural Christianity is to todays American Churches, only a few years ago. My entire life I have been blinded to the reality of the call that Christ has laid on the hearts of His children. 

I have attended church my entire life. For years, because I was so used to sitting in the pew and hearing the word preached, I Knew when I heard a good message, because it was like heart medicine. Even the ones that stepped all over my toes.  It was like finally getting a cold cup of water on a hot Southern day.  It was good!
 But that was as far as it went - HEARING it. 

It's so frustrating to hear a good word but ok what next. How do I Live it out? How do I become Salt and Light?  How do I preach the Gospel to all nations? 

Don't get me wrong, I think the IMB in the beginning was a Great Idea, and it still is. However, I am afraid that too many of us have adopted that as a,
"Well, I'm funding them to go and do what I've been called to do." 

Or even
"Well, don't we pay the pastor and church staff to do that?"


You may not have said these exact words but is "That" what your life is living?

It has been mine. Think about it... You're trusting in these pastors who have also been brought up the same way, alot of words about outreach but very little, if any, out pour.  Alot of conviction but little, to no, Action.

What do we do? How do we do it? How do I become Salt and Light? How do I minister at every oppurtunity I have. And Its not by sneaking Tracks in toilet stalls. Do you think "that's" what Jesus would Do? Run, drop and hide?  Christ wasn't sneaky at all. He was compassionate and His words spoke deep to the heart!

I am not Ashamed of the Gospel because it is the Power of Christ unto Salvation! (Romans 1:16)
Tracks arent all bad, used correctly but have a relationship first. Build a relationship! Even if it is just a 5 min totally out of your comfort zone conversation.

Because frankly "christians" have given "Christianity" a bad name, and most anyone can spot a Fake from a mile away.  And if we're saying one thing and living another, "whats so great about what we're saying?"
Not many in our society are going to respond well to a secret bathroom stall cheesy track that falls out of your toilet paper roll. Because your too scared to open your mouth and talk with them personally.  I have yet to see or hear of a toilet stall convert.

The biggest, scariest, thing about what we're facing in this war with ourselves is - Where Do We Start?  We've not seen it modeled in our churches, or much around us. So we're learning from scratch. It's exciting to see God sparking a light in hearts around the world and friends around the world but you know what.  When you see Truth clearly, and you have no one to follow...it means God's Calling you to be a Leader!

The church has got to quit with the mindset of, "well they'll come to us. maybe if we have a great program, fun games, exciting activities. Ooo, Power Point, no media shout, no a Great worship leader, well it must be, this or that or maybe so and so isn't doing such and such." All of that bogs us down from the truth of the call. Christ called us to be "Fishers of men" What are YOU doing?

Does a fisherman sit on the shore, get a well decorated, state of the art boat, push the boat out and hope that the fish jump in? Heck No!  Go, Tell, Preach! Come on!  If you don't see someone else doing it, you think it needs to be done...it may be God calling You to do it!  Quit waiting for someone else to pick of the reigns of what you've been called to do.  If your scared EVEN Better! If God's calling you to do something and your scared it means, He's ready to rock your socks off! If God's calling you to do something and you think you don't have the time, the skill or it might make you uncomfortable or excuse, excuse, excuse...get ready for God to rock your socks off!
Remain in the word. Learn how to trust Him and Him only! Learn how to hear His Voice, Learn how to notice His hand at work around you.
 It is time we stop waiting for others to fulfill our calling!

Being a Fisher of Men means NOW! Not when it's convenient or during quarterly organized ministry church projects. NOW! Today! 

My biggest struggle right now is figuring out all the little ways God's wanting to use me in my everyday life, with 2 tiny, precious anchors at home.  Anchors: is in no way a derogatory term, it just means that it limits me.  Pulls me back home :) Yes, little things I am cool with, but full-time commitments to different ministries; it is impossible for me to remain consistent in.  Doesn't mean it's stalling me, it means I've got to find out how it all fits together, and I'm about to start stalking some missionaries. 

I've got to get out of this "Church Mindset", quit labeling full-time missionaries as "the Missionaries" and realize "Hi my name is Melissa Bradley, I live in Danville, Ky and I have been Called by God to be a Missionary in this town and everywhere these feet take me!

Lord, Use me however You chose. Move me out of the way. Move my weakness out of the way and fill me with Your strength. May I be Your vessel to be used however You desire!  Clear the path ahead of me. Fill my mouth with Your words. May Your words, Your desires speak Loudly from my life!

Your Clay,
Melissa