Beauty in the Brokenness

It's hard for me to even write this. It's difficult to even share that I am weak. I have this sick habit of feeling that I have to remain tough for everyone else, I feel like I have to remain strong because if I don't everything around me will fall apart.  Is that crazy? I always feel the need to have a stiff upper lip. (I hate that term by the way) I try so hard to fight it off, hide it or neglect that it's even there.  However, there are days when I finally fall apart and sort through all the emotions that are going on within my heart. 

It seems that when I keep my chin up and in prayer I don't hear from God, but when I finally fall apart He's right there speaking deep to my heart.

Last night was one of those moments. Everything that I've been holding onto and carrying around for a while finally fell into a puddle on the floor. I couldn't hold on any longer and after I came up for air, in prayer Luke 18 was in my face.

Luke 18: The Parable of the Persistent Widow (ESV)

 ¹And he told them a parable to the effect that they ought always to pray and not lose heart. ²He said, "In a certain city there was a judge who neither feared God nor respected man. ³And there was a widow in that city who kept coming to him and saying, 'Give me justice against my adversary.' ⁴For a while he refused, but afterward he said to himself, 'Though I neither fear God nor respect man, ⁵yet because this widow keeps bothering me, I will give her justice, so that she will not beat me down by her continual coming.'" ⁶And the Lord said, "Hear what the unrighteous judge says. ⁷And will not God give justice to his elect, who cry to him day and night? Will he delay long over them? ⁸I tell you, he will give justice to them speedily. Nevertheless, when the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on earth?"

Romans 8:26-28 (ESV)

Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.

Isaiah 49:15-16 (ESV)

¹⁵ "Can a woman forget her nursing child,
   that she should have no compassion on the son of her womb?
Even these may forget,
   yet

I will not forget you.
¹⁶Behold, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands;
   your walls are continually before me.

Psalms 56:3&4, 8-11 (NKJV)

³ Whenever I am afraid,
         I will trust in You.
 ⁴ In God (I will praise His word),
         In God I have put my trust;
         I will not fear.
 ⁸ You number my wanderings;
         Put my tears into Your bottle;          

Are they not in Your book?
 ⁹ When I cry out to You,
         Then my enemies will turn back;
         This I know, because God is for me.
 ¹⁰ In God (I will praise His word),
         In the LORD (I will praise His word),
 ¹¹ In God I have put my trust;
         I will not be afraid.

Psalm 51:17
The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit;

a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise

Only in our brokeness can God pick up our pieces.  Only when we let go of the control can He receive the victory. When we quit fighting the fight in our own strength can He be our Great comforter, Healer, Provider, Peace Speaker. 

Worry has No Place in this house because I Know My Redeemer Lives and He holds me in the Palm of His hand! To the alter of the Lord I will bring my burden. For His Yoke is easy and His burden is Light. I will take comfort in my King!

Find peace in knowing that God doesn't need us nor Want us in control!

JEHOVAH-RAPHA - The Lord is our Healer

JEHOVAH-JIREH - The Lord is our Provider

JEHOVAH-SHALOM - The Lord is our Peace

El-Shaddai - The God Who is Sufficient for the Needs of His People

Remember the GOD you serve!