Saturday, November 5, 2011

Olivia's Story- {Guest Post by Tanya Monique}

Tanya Monique

I am so humbled, and feel so blessed that Melissa has invited me to guest post!! She is such a wonderful sister in Christ and I praise the Lord for her...

 I am a follower of Jesus Christ. I adore Him to my core.  He delivered me from a horrific past. He has joined me together with an amazing man, and has entrusted to me my three precious daughters. I am drawn to living simply and minimally, and everyday the Lord is showing me more of what that kind of life entails. Daily I am unraveling truths tucked into this blessed life He has allowed me. This is my first year homeschooling and it has been an amazing blessing for my family. I'm so incredibly thankful!

Thankful For My Trial...

I am so thankful that my daughter almost died. Those are the oddest words I've ever uttered -- that I've ever written. But it's true because you see, I was living half~heartedly, and my fear, my weakness, my instability during the trial of that pregnancy drew me to my Patient Father in a new, much needed way. Trials are no fun when living in the midst of them, but seeing God's hand weaving the threads toward a result bigger than our circumstance is life affirming, a true blessing indeed! Honestly, I actually felt the blessing in the midst of the trial, not because anything I did, but because of His grace. His amazing grace!

I've always known the Lord. Since being a young child I can remember praying to him for the smallest of things. My passion to see His Face burned deep within me. Sadly I backslid for many years, still believing in Him, but brokenness weakened me and I gave in to the pitiful lie of satisfying the desires of my flesh. I became a product of my environment. Those desires and environment almost killed me; several times. When I recommitted my life to Jesus it wasn't long before my wholehearted attempt at living *holy* was thwarted. I was burning with love for Him, but there was something I was just not surrendering. I sing on my knees to Him thinking back on this -- how His grace kept me alive for His glory! He never loosened His grip on my heart throughout all of my mistakes. He loved me with His famous everlasting love.

So there I was -- a married woman living in rural Pennsylvania with my two precious daughters, church goer, Christ lover. I loved Him. I really did. A true dedicated FAN. Then I got pregnant with my third daughter, Olivia Faith, and I am no longer a FAN, but a FOLLOWER of my beloved Savior.

I broke water at 20 weeks pregnant. I was advised to abort. I was told she would surely be stillborn. Again I was told she would die when she was born. Evidently God had other plans because Olivia just turned a year last month. Mysteriously, triumphs and tragedies occur without a clue, but this we know -- He always works for good! And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose. ~ Romans 8:28 It was amazing grace the way I was filled with His Peace during that time. My gratitude overflows when reflecting on His faithfulness. There was a time during my hospital stay that I had come to some supernatural understanding of His Holiness. It instilled something radical within me. I came to terms with her possible death. A deep, sound truth was etched into my heart.  In retrospect I know exactly why I was so sensitive to the Mercy and Grace of our Lord, because I had TIME to spend with Him. I was bed ridden! No children to care for , no husband to attend to, no house to clean, no meals to fix. So, the lesson is that I MUST make TIME for my GOD! How can He fill me with His supernatural Peace if I make my own way. I could have easily spoken out in negativity that my case was hopeless. Olivia was born blue, she could not breathe for over twenty minutes. Not only that, but there was an abruption of my placenta -- destroying my right fallopian tube, I had a true knot in my umbilical cord, and overall she was growing in a very dangerous environment with no fluid. It saddened me that my body had failed her, praise God that He never fails us!

If you read Olivia's Story  you will see how God's hand wove the details from the beginning of her life. Miraculously as the Master. I always believed if it was His will, she would survive. But I was prompted by the Holy Spirit to TRUST that whatever the outcome, it would be for good. The fruit of that trust has blossomed into a raw, real, loving union with Jesus. I am in awe at His presence in my life. Sometimes it's hard to believe that GOD is attainable and concerned with the things that concern us, but believe it for it is so. I am concerned for you and will look on with you favor; you will be plowed and sown.. ~ Ezekiel 36:9  We are children of The King, The Creator of the Universe. It's amazing when pondered upon. And that does not mean that trials won't come, for surely they will. It only means that we will not endure them alone. I will never leave you nor forsake you. ~ Hebrew 13:5

I believe the time has come that believers who say they trust in the Lord will truly trust Him and not just babble half~hearted sayings. We will be drawn mightily by His Spirit and revelations of His purpose will sweep this earth and our lives will declare His glory. A relationship revolution beginning in intimacy with Him. Dwelling with His Sweet Spirit. Growing in knowledge of Who He really Is.

While I'm so very thankful that He saved my baby girl {His to begin with}, I am even more thankful that my Father gives me what I need, not what I want. I wanted a healthy, drama free pregnancy, but I needed a heart~wrenching, traumatic experience to grow in trust, in intimacy with my Creator. So many strongholds that were sucking the life out of my spiritual walk were broken down. Pride, self~righteousness, feelings of entitlement. Foolish, deceptive, subtle strongholds that mask themselves so that we will not live in the fullness of God. But He wouldn't have it. He called me; He calls you to receive His best. So trust Him in the good, in the bad, and the ugly. Surrender it all to the ONE who sees you, knows you, created you... Step out in faith and have a song of thanksgiving on your lips at all times...
There is power in praise ~ power to make demons flee from whispering lies into your heart.

Power to put others needs before your own without becoming bitter.
Power to have a vision for a better tomorrow.
Power to realize your gift and use it for God's glory.
Power to believe in His good even when all is bad around you.
Power to accept the world's rejection with joyful grace because of the goodness of your Lord engraved on your heart... Glory to the King!!

I am so thankful that I don't need to strive to be *holy* anymore. Being in Him, I am clothed in His righteousness. He is my King. My Love. My Peace.

Thank You my Jesus... And thank you for sharing in the story that saved my life...

I will give thanks to you, Lord, with all my heart;
I will tell of all Your wonderful deeds.
I will be glad and rejoice in You;
I will sing the praises of Your name, O Most High. ~ Psalm  9:1~2 

1 comment:

  1. I know that must have been a very frightening time for you. How inspiring that out of that trial you are able to truly see God's hand at work in your life and praise Him!