Thursday, October 18, 2012

Surrendering a Gripey Heart

The other night, after I had sent my children to their bed for the 3rd time, I overheard my son reading rather loudly.  After I told him, "Baby, it's past quiet time.  It's now sleep time. You must go to sleep."  He said, "Mommy, I'm reading Paitlyn a book to help her calm down. Her heart is broken."

For the last year or so my children have been sneaking into my bed around 2:30 every morning for "mommy snuggles".  I LOVE those times with my children but my lack of sleep was getting old, my husband and I are trying to toughen up, through their tears and broken hearts and keep them in their beds all night.

Paitlyn (3) was still snubbing from her broken heart and that is why Jaxson (5) was reading a book to her.  My heart melted over the love my son has for his sister and how thoughtful he can be towards her.  What a blessed little girl, I thought. Then I considered how one day she might take that love and care forgranted, just like we do with ALL blessings.

Over the last few days I have struggled with a gripey heart.  I have had this amazing ability to find fault and conflict in everything.  I HATE when my heart becomes so negative.  When my heart is negative it is even hard to pray because I feel so far away from the Lord, it's a miserable feeling.  I began praying so hard for the Lord to bless me with perspective.  I prayed for Him to give me His eyes to see circumstances.  His compassion to view conflict. His grace to overcome my negative mindset.

That was the night I found my son caring for his sister. What a blessing! I stayed in the living room listening to him talk to her and when he finished reading to her he prayed for her and for... well he's 5 so he prayed for everything under the sun, even Woody and Buzz Lightyear. :)

Today if you're feeling the weight of a negative heart, if you feel like you're the only one and no one else could understand your frustration, pain, loneliness, anger or regret - whatever you're going through.  I challenge you (and this may be hard) to consider your blessings, find ways to bless others and pray for perspective. (James 1:5)
 
Psalm 119:169-176 (NAS)
Let my cry come before You, O Lord;
Give me understanding according to Your word.

Let my supplication come before You;
Deliver me according to Your word.
Let my lips utter praise,
For You teach me Your statutes. 
 
Let my tongue sing of Your word,
For all Your commandments are righteousness.
Let Your hand be ready to help me,
For I have chosen Your precepts.
I long for Your salvation, O Lord,
And Your law is my delight.
Let my soul live that it may praise You,
And let Your ordinances help me.
 I have gone astray like a lost sheep; seek Your servant,
For I do not forget Your commandments.
 
Our hearts are incapable of being full of Praise and Complaint at the same time.  Lord fill our hearts and thoughts full of YOUR PRAISE!!!
 
HIS clay,
Melissa

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